The Psychological Horror of Online Dating: A New Kind of Devouring

The Psychological Horror of Online Dating: A New Kind of Devouring

The promise of online dating was connection. It was meant to bridge the distance, to bring us closer in a world that felt increasingly isolated. But what it has unleashed is a new kind of psychological horror, a quiet, insidious breakdown of the very nature of human relationships. I have personally witnessed a terrible outcome of these sites in the current world, and it is a truth so brutal that few are willing to face it.

The premise is this: there are no "single" women left.

The word "single" used to mean a woman was emotionally and physically available, open to a new, genuine relationship. But because of the convenience and ease of access to a massive exposure to male audiences, women are never truly "single." They are either in a relationship, or they are in a constant state of pre-relationship, with a dozen conversations on a dozen different apps, a dozen "soft" options waiting in the wings. They have boyfriends they aren't married to, yet are sleeping with, and a backup plan ready at all times. The field is never truly empty.

This poses an impossible issue for men who refuse to use manipulation to win a mate. The man who respects a relationship, who would never try to break up a couple, finds himself in a spiritual purgatory. He is a "legitimate suitor," but his moral code has left him with no one to legitimately court. If all the fertile and healthy women are in some form of relationship and are never really single, then men are forced to steal their mate from another. This causes a deep, irreconcilable conflict in the heart of one who honors boundaries and refuses to participate in this devouring game.

This is the very reason why the "nice guys" do finish last. They are not playing the game of constant competition, and the game has become all there is.

Women, in this marketplace of the self, are being manipulated, even if they don't see it. They have been given a platform to sell themselves as a product, and with that power comes a perverse set of incentives. This gives weak men—men who would normally not have the confidence to approach them in real life—unfettered access. These men learn the language of the platform. They become masters of performance, of saying the right thing at the right time. They are conformists and manipulators, and because the platform rewards them, they are often the ones who win.

And so, we arrive at the tragedy. Legitimate suiters, men of principle and strength, are ignored in favor of men who have learned to play a corrupted game. The quiet horror of online dating is that it has not only broken down our ability to form authentic bonds, but it has actively turned us against them. It has created a society of zombies, forever consuming options but never truly finding a soul, a world where the most principled among us are left to watch the devouring from the sidelines.

This insidious dynamic isn't just about dating; it reveals the deep rot within the very foundations of our family units and our society. It's no wonder we see so many jaded "Liliths" out there – individuals, often women, carrying the weight of broken families and the scars of countless superficial connections. They are a product of this very system, wounded souls navigating a landscape where genuine commitment feels increasingly rare.